Coffee Talk Mom

Boys and “Love”!

Growing up, I always knew my Dad loved me. He showed me with hugs and told me almost every day. Maybe men have an easier time telling their "little girls" I love you! Boys are somehow supposed to grow up just intuitively knowing that their Dads love them. I'm all for living in the moment and telling my kids how important they are to me and how much I love them as much as possible.

On a recent evening at home, Buzz and Dave were moving furniture like real men (Ha!:)) and Buzz said, "Hey Mom!"…."Ya" I answered looking up from the vacuum. "I love you" he responded. This has been how Buzz and I communicate "love" for the past few years! I am truly blessed. I found it funny when Dave stopped, put the table down, and said "Hey! What about me??"…

Dave was raised in a wonderful 2 parent home with a stay at home mom and a hard working Dad (a physician). Dave never questioned that his parents both loved him, but he only ever heard the words "I love you" from his Mom. Dave never really even acknowledged this until a few years into our marriage when my parents would both tell us how much they loved us whenever we were coming or going. Somehow Dave picked up on this and has always told our boys how much he loved them. Once boys get to be teenagers, it gets a little awkward, which brings me back to the other night…A conversation ensued about various male-bonding types of moves including, but not limited to, the "bro hug", the tackle, and the arm punch. I stood there, not believing that we were discussing how NOT to hug or say "I love you". This goes against everything I believe. After-all, you won't ever be on your death bed wondering if you hugged your kids too much or told them "I love you" too many times. We went around in circles with the conversation laughing and trying each move out on each other. Ultimately, Dave took William into his arms and slow danced around the living room just to get to me! I laughed hysterically realizing that in the end it doesn't really matter how they tell each other, but that the child knows how much he is loved. Like it or not, our kids learn from our actions AND our words. Be sure you take the time to use BOTH!

I am happy to report that Dr. Papa is a light in our lives and I frequently end our conversations with "Love you Pops". He responds typically with a "You too!"…I know what he means…and so does Dave! Life is about the little moments when you are dancing across the living room floor with your teenage son. It's better than closing a big deal at work, or a raise… it's God giving you moments of blessings amidst the chaos of teenagers!

 

Cheers and have a good week!

 

Coffee Talk Mom

There’s NO PLACE like home!

Vacation is great…no doubt! Last week was Fall Break in October where most of the kids are underfoot 24/7. Dave had a busy week of work and conferences in San Francisco, so Buzz and I tagged along on the adventure. We were "on our own" most of the time while "Dad" worked. The ONE good thing about a husband who travels is the one time a year you can take total and efficient advantage of his Hyatt status! We went from Fisherman's Wharf to Ghiradelli Square, Lombard Street to prison! What? Prison? We had never been to Alcatraz, so we decided to go for it together! All I had ever heard about it was from my sister and Dave. They had a vision of being locked in solitary confinement and how CRAZY it felt! YIKES!! It was a GREAT trip. If you ever want to go, plan ahead. Tickets sell out (even in October).
Will and I enjoyed the videos and the self guided headphone tour. When asked by several people about it later, he said "I would never want to live there!"…Well, that is one point for Mom! It is always a good thing when your teenage boy sees the dark side of prison! And YES…there was a solitary confinement which was extraordinarily creepy! The prisoner's primary memory was that of hearing voices from the city and knowing how close they were to freedom but not being able to achieve it.
We are so blessed in America. If you have a dream and you put in the hard work, you can achieve it. You don't need to just hear the sounds of the city, you can BE in the city!

After a few days, it was off to the Silicon Valley. I had never been there although Dave has worked from that location for a few years. Dotted with office buildings and "campus" frenzy! Most major business and engineering schools have a campus in this area for hiring purposes and to compete with Stanford. Will and I opted for a day at the movie, a trip to Santa Cruz, and some time with grad school friends. If you think you are not spending enough time with your teenager, take them on a trip! We had time to tackle every possible conversation and go on adventures together that we would never have done on our own.

Yesterday, we packed our bags and climbed back into the rental car for the last time to head to the airport. It dawned on me how much I have to be thankful for in Colorado. It is GREAT to vacation, but there is something about flying over the Rockies of Colorado and knowing you are almost home. The people in the airport looked different, the air smelled better, and the thought of sleeping in my own bed sounded AWESOME! That may be why I was late to choir this morning after getting ready in record time (6 minutes…thank God I had a shower before bed and laid out my clothes!). I know, I know…I will have to check in again with everyone on Wednesday when we are expecting our first snowfall in Denver. For now…bring it on! There is no place like home!

A trip to Children’s Hospital…

Some of you may know that about a year and a half ago we noticed William shaking quite a bit when he used utensils and family dinners. We brushed it off for a couple of months before it became clear that this was not a "moment" but something that he was dealing with daily or at least weekly. When things like this happen as a parent, you try to block "possible scenarios" out of your mind…the "what ifs" in life can really get you as parents. I am a self-prescribed worrier and Dave is not. This is the perfect combination of balance. I sometimes don't know what I would do if we were more alike in that way. I am reality, he is a dreamer and for that I am grateful.

We started at the pediatrician. We were quickly sent to a specialist at Presbyterian St Lukes, then, more recently, given the thumbs up to see a neurologist at Children's hospital in Denver. Many thanks to my father-in-law George, he had calmed our fears and verified that it is more frequent than we know and that "he still knew a brain surgeon that had tremor". Whew! That was a concern! (Just kidding…although there are many generations of Drachs in the medical field and it is not looking good from our boys!)

It takes some reality in the waiting room to come back down to earth and give you the sense of "My life really isn't that bad". I think sometimes God places us in hospitals so that we can see just how good we have it…especially Children's hospitals. There were kids in wheelchairs, with casts, masks, sleeping in wagons etc… I often wonder what it must feel like to be a parent of a child that has to spend quite a bit of time in a hospital…heartbreaking!

William saw an amazing, young, and funny doctor about his condition. She was on time. She was engaged. She was not in a hurry to write a script and walk out the door. She talked to William. She tested him. She tested US! She gave us a diagnosis. William does not have an "intention" tremor, but an "essential" tremor. It will worsen with time. There are no medications to resolve it, although we were given something for high stress times (like tests when he has to write a bunch). Someday,, he may have to deal with more meds, or brain surgery. For now, we have a healthy, happy, smart 16 year old. He can do ANYTHING he sets his mind to do. We are confident that this will not impede his daily activity, but spark him to take care of himself…get sleep…start drinking. Wait…WHAT?? Yes, drinking alcohol can help the condition. They are not sure why. Will has decided against that treatment (spoken by now 4 separate doctors on 4 separate occasions). Who would have thought? We take our child to see the specialist and the answer is Coors light? Life is good…we are blessed…may God truly bless the families and children who deal with much bigger issues. Smile…you have your life today!

 

Coffee Talk Mom

Random Thoughts on a Friday

 

OK…I am really sorry that Steve Jobs died at such a young age and left children behind but I am disturbed by the idolization of this guy on the web. This is a man who fully admits he denied the paternity of his first child and was forced into test that proved the child was his. He spent very little time with his kids and talked to his writer so they would "know what kind of man he was"…Maybe, if you spent some quality time with your kids, they would KNOW what kind of man you were. This is a huge lesson for all of us. We all want to be "successful" in the eyes of the world. But, in the big picture of eternity, what is success? I can guarantee that his money is not being put into the ground with his body. He openly admitted to "dropping LSD" as a highlight of his life and something that maybe even drove him to his creativity in business. AWESOME! Really? Let's just tell our kids to go ahead and drop some acid and see if they become multi-billionaires! Now THAT is success!

Steve Jobs was an innovator. There are role models in our world today who are SO much more inspirational for us and our children. How about the soldiers who endure 115 degree weather overseas, or teachers who work overtime to educate our kids, researchers who are in labs late at night to cure disease… Ultimately, as a Christian, Jesus is my role model. Trust me, I will never attain sainthood, but maybe I can look back on my life and hope that, because of me, someone's life is changed for the better. I have some role models in my life…think I will go grab my IPhone and give them a call… WAIT! Dave works for Microsoft…no I-anything in this house!! J

 

Happy Weekend!

 

Coffee Talk Mom

Moneyball?=Money-waste

I know I know…all of the baseball fans are booing me right now. I guess with the "buzz" about Brad Pitt and a potential Oscar for his role, I was expecting more. I should have known when I was walking out the door for "girl movie night" and my son said..."Good luck with that movie, Mom. It has two things you don't like: baseball and math!". Meanwhile, I was thinking, "but it has BRAD PITT!". Needless to say, I knew going into it that it was about baseball and baseball and a little more baseball. I have always loved sports and even enjoy a CO Rockies baseball game or two a year so I figured what the heck!

Brad Pitt plays the general manager who, when given a lack of funds from the owners, begins to evaluate talent based on statistics. Jonah Hill plays a GREAT part being the nerdy, overweight math and baseball whiz who walks Pitt (Billy Beane) through the theory that money isn't everything and using statistics from under-valued players can add up to wins. The premise is interesting and since it was employed years ago, most MLB teams have and still utilize the theory in some way today. Here were my issues:

First of all, the "old guys club" in the movie looked like they were reading their script off the wall behind Brad Pitt. I wanted to like them, but they just didn't do it for me. One laugh from the crowd was the "here it comes" quote "Who's Fabio"? I'm sure the writers did their research and they are an exact replica of the Oakland A's management at the time. Sometimes real life just isn't that exciting I guess.

Throughout the movie they showed flashbacks to his experience as a young player in the drafting process, playing, and ultimately giving up a full ride to Stanford for a failed shot at the pros. For some reason, they used a different actor who looked NOTHING like Brad Pitt. At first it was confusing, then, it was just bad. It wasn't like they had to make a 46 year old Brad Pitt into a 10 year old. Come on people, slap some make-up on that man, change his hair style, and make him look like a 20 something!

A couple of times they show Beane in a big, empty dirt parking lot? One time in particular, he did "doughnuts" out of frustration for his losing team…very "Footloose". Really? They showed his truck a bunch…product placement maybe?

The movie had a "chick" part when they show Billy taking his daughter out to look for guitars and she sings for him…very sweet…Obviously divorced, they show a supportive ex-wife re-married to a complete nerd (albeit rich). For some reason, his wedding band is on the entire movie…shout out to Angie possibly??

Kudos go to Philip Seymour Hoffman for playing a very convincing JERK as the manager of the Oakland team. He spends the movie sulking and doing the exact opposite of what Beane wants him to do to make the equation work. By the end of the movie, he is along for the ride and taking the credit along the way. Apparently the real Art Howe isn't too happy about the portrayal.

In the end, the Oakland A's break the record for longest streak (20 straight wins), but never end up in the World Series. As the credits roll, we are told that he passed up a 12 million dollar contract with the REDSOX and they went on to in the World Series 2 years later using his techniques. He is still with the Athletics today and waiting for his big win!

This is one movie that you can "wait to rent". If you are in to baseball, you know the end already and if you are into Brad Pitt go buy a People magazine or rent a real movie like "Legends of the Fall"!