Coffee Talk Mom

It’s ok to be a NPM (No paycheck Mom)!

 

Let's face it, we all have friends who fall on different sides of this coin! I have 2 boys, one of which is in college, the other in high school. When T went off to college I had this nagging feeling in my stomach…should I be doing more? Making money? Going back to school? Teaching? It didn't take long for me to realize that I was right where I needed to be. My youngest (Buzz) is in his junior year, newly driving, and has no problem making his feelings known! "Mom…where ARE you?" he often calls at about 3:35 from home. God forbid I have been delayed at Target or the dry cleaner! He has even told me that he LIKES having me home, which is rare for a high school boy. There is something about knowing that your mom is "around". I enjoy being here for his friends, driving him to his activities, baking for the drumline kids, and volunteering at school. I guess, when it comes right down to it, THIS is my job. I figure that I made it this far…what's another 2 years? I have my days, trust me! By the time your kids are getting older, you are tapped out with the "room mom" deal! It is a gift to be able to go to lunch with friends, bake for a sick person in the choir, run to school to pick up a child who is ill… I remember one time when my oldest was in elementary school…The phone rang…it was the school…There was a PROBLEM! Uh Oh…automatic sick feeling!! They had an assembly and a child sitting in front of T. stood up, turned to run to the bathroom and threw up all over T. I guess he was a "good sport" but didn't really feel comfortable in the shirt they had provided him to change in to (a CSU shirt might I add…ugh!)…I ran to the school, picked up that poor boy, took him home for a shower, changed his clothes and thought to myself…THANK GOD I was home!

That said…There is something about getting a paycheck. After 21 years at home I occasionally help a caterer in my area. Over Christmas, I helped with a party for a local physician. I was the "bartender" (ok…you can laugh now!). HEY! I did pretty well. All of those "beer talks" with Dave came in handy. I actually know the difference between a "porter" and a "wheat" beer! It doesn't matter what shoes you wear, your feet are killing you by the end of the night and you feel somehow like you ran a marathon. I had logged over 13,000 steps that day on my Fit Bit, so I knew between "momming" and "working" I had walked 7 miles. God bless the wait-staff at restaurants!!

When I opened the mail after Christmas, there it was…in all of its glory (cue angels singing the Halleluiah chorus) a check for $114.00. I was smiling and thinking about how hard I worked for that money (which included a $40 tip)! Dave looked over my shoulder and said "What is that?"…Now…you have to know Dave. He doesn't have a mean bone in his body. Yet, with the innocence of a corporate guy, he said, "I think I may make that in an hour". REALLY?! I think he said it as if to say "You worked SO hard for that…and on a weekend when you were busy with other things!" Needless to say, I pocketed that baby with all of the pride I could and proceeded to the bank. It feels good to get out and contribute so I continue to "fill in" when I can.

SO many of my friends have to work to make ends meet and I know they would love to be there for those "special" times…hopefully not including vomit! Many have chosen to return to the work force and have done quite well. I hope they know they can count on me to do the "school run" for them! I don't mind be the "emergency contact"….in fact, it's kind of a blessing to be needed and wanted…and trusted. Someday in the near future I may have a paycheck of my own…or who knows? Maybe I can even go on a business trip with Dave. For now Buzz is my paycheck! Kids are a gift…your job is important!! If you have friends in the work force, support them…be there for their kids…What comes around, goes around!

I hate those people who talk to themselves!!

SO I'm grocery shopping on aisle 3 and some lady is talking to herself and I think she is asking me to get something down from a high shelf (hey…I'm tall!) I look twice and realize she is talking on her cell phone via some ear bud thing. SO annoying!! Can't she wait to use the phone once she is in the car? WAIT! You shouldn't use your cell in the car (not illegal in Colorado might I add)…I don't know…it has just been one of those things that annoys me for the past few years. I guess they are "blue-tooth" ear buds…I have a house full of gadget boys, but I have never owned a Bluetooth…UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!

If I had a photo of the look on my face when I opened this thing, it would be priceless for this story. I am sure my face said "What the??"…Was this a joke? Actually, the answer is a resounding "no"! Dave and the boys found it for me at "Frys"…an electronic store in Vegas. They were so proud of themselves, so I plastered a "oh great…happy happy joy" smile on my face and proceeded to stick the case into a bag. I didn't want to learn how to use yet another gadget! Fast forward a few hours, and the "unit" was charged, programmed, and ready to go. It took me about a day and I was completely HOOKED!! Get it? Hooked? Ok…never mind…I digress. This thing is SO great! You simply press a button to call someone and it talks to you…no hands…and my cell doesn't have to be rummaged for in my purse. It simply has to be in my purse (or close to me somewhere). It will "ping" me when I get a text and prompt me to answer it using voice recognition or ignore it and deal with it later.

I am one of those people who DOES NOT text in the car…Hey…but calling someone is legal! HOWEVER, when the car is at a stoplight, I may do a quick text return. When I am "called on it" by my family, I simply say "I'm not driving…I'm parked"…What a smart woman! ...or maybe an idiot…I don't know which.

This past weekend, I was on a "girl's trip" and was called names the entire time. Mostly, it was justified as I would be walking along and suddenly say "REPLY" or "I'M DONE". For awhile (I have long hair), they thought they were going crazy. Once they saw my amazing gadgetry, they proceeded to address me as "starship commander" or "obi one". I don't mind. I'm cool with that…I don't have to use my hands to talk on the phone. What did I ever do without my Bluetooth thingy? I am feeling kind of like I did when I told my friends I didn't want to figure out how to use the DVR! Go on people; take the dive into the ear bud pond!

Goodbye AP Classes…Hello College!

Some of you may want to skip over this blog about high school, but chances are, someday you will have a teen in your life who may need the info. I encourage you to READ ON! Budget cuts have been a bummer no matter how you look at it. If you cannot afford a private school education, chances are your kids are in over-crowded classrooms with over-worked teachers. Granted, I am NO PRO in this arena, I am beginning to educate myself. Something is broken. I encourage you to know your child and educate yourself in the best possible scenario BEFORE they hit high school. There are OPTIONS!

This may be controversial and beyond what I ever thought I would share as a whole but here goes…If you do NOT have a straight A student capable of achieving A's in AP courses, enroll in "honors" classes and/or AP at your own risk. When my oldest child was in HS, he chose honors classes as a freshman. These classes are NOT weighted and thereby if your child receives a "B"…a 3.0 is averaged into their grades. A 3.0 overall GPA will NOT get your child into engineering school. As you move from honors, you are offered AP courses. These college level classes ARE weighted (ie. A "B" is an "A" etc…) however, in order to receive college credits, you must "test out" of these courses with a 4 or 5 (out of a possible 5). CU for example, does not take 3's which would easily pass you out of a college level course. SO…you have now spent $ to be "in" the AP class, another $100 (on average) for the book(s) , and another $90 to test at the end of the year. If the child does not receive a 4 or 5, you have just wasted your money and, in many cases, the kids are receiving C's, which are again, bringing their GPA down. Another bummer is that here you have a smart kid who is working his butt off for B's and C's and ,at graduation, there are kids who took basket-weaving walking across the stage getting special honors for their GPA's. Just make an educated decision!

This brings me to last week. I had received an email from the school about "Academic night" which encompassed the new IB program , AP courses, and credits available at the local community college. I brought my younger boy who is currently finishing his 6'th AP class as a Junior. We had break-out sessions and we headed directly to the community college classroom. There were a total of 6 parents attending…SAD. The HS counselor explained to us that there were college classes offered at the local high schools, completely paid for that the kids could incorporate into their schedules. Some schools in our county have 10 or 15 available, some have 3 (our school L)…The great thing about these classes? If you pass, you get college credit. PERIOD. All state schools in Colorado, (including CU), must accept these credits. Your child has the chance to start a University as a sophomore, completely paid for by the schools in your district. In our case, it is first come, first served if you drive to the local community college where they have too many class offerings to count. SO…there is even a chance to go the local college, take classes tuition free, and transfer them to the school of your choice (in Colorado) upon graduation. This was a BIG eye opener for me so I took it upon myself to raise my hand with this comment/question: "I have an "AP" student sitting next to me right now. If he doesn't get a "B" or better, these classes are bringing DOWN his GPA, costing about $300 per class, and are basically a complete waste. He will be a senior next year. How can we best use this program to tackle some non-engineering courses that can be transferred to CU (in our case)?" I think he turned white. Some of the other parents said "I never thought about that!" He straightened up and asked, "Well, what are you taking?"…My youngest was a little embarrassed and took a minute to run through his 4 AP course titles and other 2 classes. His response? "Well…that's a good question!". I had a couple of other "good questions" that night too. I even brought up the fact that we were "highly encouraged" to put our kids into the AP classes if they were capable of achieving a "C" grade (which is really a "B") cause "that is really good…these classes are tough".

I don't want to leave you with a "this is what I would do" comment, but more of an FYI. PARENTS…DO YOUR HOMEWORK!... The class we went to last week was only one of several. Your child can be an auto mechanic when he graduates high school, start a flight school program, and much more. Some kids aren't "4 year degree" types of kids and THAT IS OKAY! There is even a program called "Pro Start" which helps kids not only become chefs, but learn how to run a business in the process! What child would not find value in the actual process of starting and running a business? There ARE options in the public school. IN our case, I just needed to pay attention to the "email meeting announcements" and also wanting more for my child who I know can have an even better education.

As a funny side-note, my son looked up the name of his counselor on his cell phone during the meeting. I whispered "Don't you know the name of your counselor? You are a junior!"…As it turns out, he was standing in front of us. He may not like it, but here I come!

I’m on a roll baby!!

Here is the latest installment of "You don't really know me till' ya look in my drawers"…WAIT! That didn't sound right but you all know what I mean…Another week…another drawer! What is it with make-up ladies? I guess it costs a bunch of money so we just hate to throw anything away. When it comes right down to it I guess if you could live without it on a 2 week vacation, you can probably live without it. If it smells funny, get rid of it. If it is over a year old, get rid of it. Get your little butt to Target and buy that $6 green and pink new thingy of mascara!

 

Why I can’t watch the games!

I grew up with an athletic family. My Dad played both high school and college football. My brothers played football, basketball, baseball etc… My sister ran track. When I was little my mind said "You can be gymnast or a figure skater". My body said "You will be a basketball/volleyball /tennis/or track athlete". I LOVED watching the Olympics and still do. I love competition (my friends and family find this as no surprise). When I graduated from CU, I had a degree in secondary teaching and health and physical education. I took up in a suburb of Seattle coaching freshman basketball at 5:30am and varsity volleyball (after school). I would get nervous before the games just realizing that however the girls played, it would become a direct reflection on me. If they had a cat fight in the locker room about boys, it could change the outcome of the game. I survived with hard work and planning and trying to work with whatever was handed to me. This was pre-recruiting and scouting. I once had a 6'1" freshman who had never touched volleyball. She made the team…there was no "not making the team". It was my job to teach her the sport and incorporate her into the team. My last year with the volleyball team we made it to semi's at state. The year after I left, they won state. Every year for 20 years, I have exchanged Christmas cards with the other varsity coach. I love sports.

The problem comes when I am watching a team I REALLY care about: The CU BUFFS, the BRONCOS, and ThunderRidge GRIZZLIES. I get nervous…I want to run out on the court and (in my own mind) win the game, catch the ball, score! I think I am more mellow with high school sports because God gave me 2 boys who, for many years, couldn't care less about sports. I don't think Dave has ever sat in front of the TV with one of his boys and watched a whole game (until this year). I am blessed to have 2 drummers! They play their hearts out during the games and win or lose, they all go home happy. No stress, no yelling at refs, no getting upset over a missed note! It is awesome… Now back to the BUFFS and BRONCOS. Every Sunday I retreat to my bedroom with a book. I shut the door thereby shutting out surround sound and possible boos and cheers. You see, I can't watch! I get the clicker in hand and occasionally flip the TV on and check the score. Last night I was reading a book when I realized the Broncos had gone from being ahead to OT. Dave wanted someone to join him in the excitement, but I just COULDN"T do it. I kept reading and praying that they would somehow pull out a win. Once I heard the cheers from downstairs, I was anxious to see all of the replays and join in the celebration!! I don't know if I am the ONLY one like this. I have a feeling my older brother is the same. We have been known to pace the Denver Coliseum during volleyball state championships ( for my athletic nieces), peaking thru the tunnel openings to check the scores…out of stress…or hope…of somehow wanting to alter the outcome. Last night I realized that, for those of us in Denver, it was our Superbowl. We were the underdogs in a major way. We were up against the #1 defense in the league. It feels like we "won the season"…changed the minds of the doubters…gave some of us hope. Does anybody find it interesting that Tebow had 316 yards? John 3:16 has been a mainstay poster at NFL games for years. Also, captured from several separate locations, was a halo over Invesco Field (Bing it). Whether I watch the games or not really doesn't matter, but maybe next Saturday I will crawl out from under the covers and watch another miracle!

Exhibit A

So here is a little "follow through" photo from Coffee Talk Mom. I figured I better get busy walking the walk and not just talking the talk. What can I say…it's one drawer of many…but it's a start. More to come (if I stay motivated). Please note the Elvis glasses..a critical element in any good junk drawer!

This and that for the New Year

Hi All,

After a 2 week break for the holidays, Coffee Talk Mom is back!

Here are some thoughts on life and for the "New Year" today

*When traveling…stay seated until they call your row on the airplane…honestly, it doesn't help to stand in front of the jet way!

*Men lose weight faster than women!...It's never gonna change…In a total of less than 6 days, my boys lost 7, 9, and 13.5 pounds. I lost 2.

*There is nothing worse than being sick away from home! (3 weeks of coughing, two trips to ER, and I am happy to be home)

*I personally think it would be good for our family to unplug one day a week…don't know if we could do it, but I guarantee the world would not come to an end if someone couldn't text me.

*I have a TV in my kitchen. It is right next to the laundry room and I find myself working and listening throughout the week. Sometimes there are some of the DUMBEST things on TV. Case in point: stop watching Kardashian anything! Why I ask WHY people???

*My husband told me I needed to clean my closet. I guess this would be a good time to get rid of clothes that don't fit. If I become a Victoria Secret model, I'm sure I'll want new clothes anyway.

*We didn't have our party this year (today!) but it's ok…I can still invite friends for dinner throughout the year! If you have friends who don't know what the inside of your house looks like, invite them over…it could be chips and hot dogs…they don't care if you aren't a gourmet! They just want to feel included in your life!

*My Mom had a card on her counter in California: "When is the last time in your life you did something for the first time in your life?"…Think about it and challenge yourself to do something new this year! You don't have to parachute jump…try a new recipe!

*I love magazines and house shows, but it can be overwhelming to think about cleaning and organizing your whole house. Clean 1 drawer or closet a week…It's amazing what crossing something off a list can do!

* When in doubt, keep the faith…after all, Broncos lost and we still made it to the playoffs!!

Movie Review in a few:

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol 4*

Good date movie...predictable

Sherlock Holmes: 3*

I was a little bored and didn't think there were enough twists and turns. Also the crazy camera movements made me sick.

Warhorse: 5*

Dave and my Dad enjoyed it, but then again, Dave loves horse movies and my Dad loves war movies. "The Perfect Storm"!

 

Back to the real world…dentist appointments, laundry, and volunteering! SMILE…life is good!

HAPPY 2012!

CoffeeTalkMom