(Written from Kauai, HI: June 2013)
Quite honestly, we were hoping to plan a trip for the summer of 2013 with our boys to celebrate their graduations. About a year ago it crossed our minds: we will be entering the great unknown of "emptiness" AKA the empty nest. So with some trepidation and excitement we saved every mile and Hyatt points and planned a dream trip to Hawaii. How ironic is it that the last time I was in Hawaii, I was 21, newly married, and about to start a life in Seattle with no local friends, and a house I had never seen. Now, 27 years later (and almost to the day!), I am back in Hawaii and looking toward to returning to a house I really haven't lived in, in a place I don't know anyone, without kids. Maybe I didn't plan this trip at all. I think a power bigger than myself knew exactly what He was doing and somehow got this bedraggled and exhausted body over 3000 miles away from a house in need of organization, medical bills on the counter, and so much more. But why?
In the months to come I am sure I will share much about how it feels to spend your adult life doing and being and living for your family and then facing the big question: Who Am I apart from that person I spent 27 years trying hard to be good at. You see, it is so much easier for me to be a helpmate, a mommy, a fixer...then I don't have to fix myself or...fail myself. I can just jog alongside others with a water bottle and a towel and wipe up the messes...If I am the one jogging, I may trip or worse yet...not finish the race!
Life is an adventure and many times we don't know what is around the next corner. This year has been a series of mountainous terrain and jagged peaks and valleys. My sister held the water bottle and towel last fall for me after surgery and it made me think...what good came out of that time in my life? You know, quiet time is good...alone time "in the chair" and having others care for you is an amazing gift of the valleys in life. You don't feel it at the time as you obsess about the lack of ability to function, and the pay backs, and the feelings of loneliness, but He is working on something!
This week has been a gift...we will get humorous about it later...but suffice it to say...sleeping to the sounds of the ocean, having a non working cell phone and no agenda is like a big relief after what has been a tumultuous year..
If only for a day...give yourself that time this summer! Aloha!
This photo was taken off the deck in Hawaii of "Spindrift", our house. www.spindriftkauai.com
Coffee Talk Mom
