When in doubt...remember these !
1. No child is perfect..neither are their parents: You can set up all of the rules and regulations you want, we all stumble..chose your battles and admit when you have an epic fail as a parent. It may be something simple like verbally showing regret at an unkind word. Kids are like elephants...they remember everything! (esp. the stumbles) 2. Kids like boundaries: Most of my "adopted" kids over the years never minded the house rules and in fact liked knowing someone actually cared about what they were doing. Ill never forget a "recording studio" moment when my oldest was in high school. 4 letter words were flowing from the mouth of a goth dude and I quickly rushed upstairs much to the surprise of goth boy. I think I heard some laughing, but I didn't care...that junk didn't work in our house. 3. You are not allowed to give up...follow thru when they are little! It is SO much easier to ignore the junky stuff your kids do. You're tired, burned out, and in need of a 4:00 glass of Pinot Grigio...Dont let it slide. Kids learn how to use those times and what is REALLY a rule. That 3 minute timeout away from the other kids teaches a ton! 4. Letting it go...always catches up with you..Small issues become big issues very quickly. If you have a no drinking rule, abide by it. No one is mad, it's just the rule. 5. Nothing bad ever comes from putting God first, others second and yourself last. Kids are so self-focused, that thinking about helping others, serving others and giving a tithe out of their own money teaches self control, ethics, and a moral code. God is no dummy. 6. Family dinners are critical. If you are "too busy" for this rule, then you are TOO BUSY! Its not necessarily about the food, but more about relationships within the family. 7. Thank you notes are non-negotiable. If your kids are blessed enough to get multiple gifts on birthdays or Christmas, just tell them they can use that toy or gift card just as soon as you see the "thank you" written and addressed. Use discretion depending upon the age. 8. There is a difference between being active and involved and over-kill sports and activities. This rule speaks for itself. If your child simply attends school, then heads home to the couch, maybe a sport or activity is in the cards. If you are leaving a baseball tournament early for basketball tryouts and a karate test, re-think your priorities. Chances are you are not following thru on #6 9. Nothing good happens after midnight......period...yes...that is a large period! The kids are either doing something they shouldn't, thinking about doing something they shouldn't or driving around people who have already done it! 10. It's never too late to be a good parent. Start today. Start small. Make or order a dinner and set the table. 11. There will be winners and losers ..that is LIFE. "Everyone wins" isn't the way it is in the real world. Learn it and accept it young. Everything isn't always EQUAL or FAIR. 12. LOVE your spouse and show your kids how much that relationship means to you. Kids see this and model it later in life. Men, this is critical to raising mannerly young men and future fathers who are willing to stand in the gap for their families under any circumstances.
1. No child is perfect..neither are their parents: You can set up all of the rules and regulations you want, we all stumble..chose your battles and admit when you have an epic fail as a parent. It may be something simple like verbally showing regret at an unkind word. Kids are like elephants...they remember everything! (esp. the stumbles) 2. Kids like boundaries: Most of my "adopted" kids over the years never minded the house rules and in fact liked knowing someone actually cared about what they were doing. Ill never forget a "recording studio" moment when my oldest was in high school. 4 letter words were flowing from the mouth of a goth dude and I quickly rushed upstairs much to the surprise of goth boy. I think I heard some laughing, but I didn't care...that junk didn't work in our house. 3. You are not allowed to give up...follow thru when they are little! It is SO much easier to ignore the junky stuff your kids do. You're tired, burned out, and in need of a 4:00 glass of Pinot Grigio...Dont let it slide. Kids learn how to use those times and what is REALLY a rule. That 3 minute timeout away from the other kids teaches a ton! 4. Letting it go...always catches up with you..Small issues become big issues very quickly. If you have a no drinking rule, abide by it. No one is mad, it's just the rule. 5. Nothing bad ever comes from putting God first, others second and yourself last. Kids are so self-focused, that thinking about helping others, serving others and giving a tithe out of their own money teaches self control, ethics, and a moral code. God is no dummy. 6. Family dinners are critical. If you are "too busy" for this rule, then you are TOO BUSY! Its not necessarily about the food, but more about relationships within the family. 7. Thank you notes are non-negotiable. If your kids are blessed enough to get multiple gifts on birthdays or Christmas, just tell them they can use that toy or gift card just as soon as you see the "thank you" written and addressed. Use discretion depending upon the age. 8. There is a difference between being active and involved and over-kill sports and activities. This rule speaks for itself. If your child simply attends school, then heads home to the couch, maybe a sport or activity is in the cards. If you are leaving a baseball tournament early for basketball tryouts and a karate test, re-think your priorities. Chances are you are not following thru on #6 9. Nothing good happens after midnight......period...yes...that is a large period! The kids are either doing something they shouldn't, thinking about doing something they shouldn't or driving around people who have already done it! 10. It's never too late to be a good parent. Start today. Start small. Make or order a dinner and set the table. 11. There will be winners and losers ..that is LIFE. "Everyone wins" isn't the way it is in the real world. Learn it and accept it young. Everything isn't always EQUAL or FAIR. 12. LOVE your spouse and show your kids how much that relationship means to you. Kids see this and model it later in life. Men, this is critical to raising mannerly young men and future fathers who are willing to stand in the gap for their families under any circumstances.
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