"You should write a manual"...5 of the funniest words I have heard in the past week. Yep, we made it...30 years...but I am no professional...it takes hard work, determination, and a whole lot of help from the man upstairs. There is no code, but when I talk to 20-somethings about marriage, I do have some easy and crucial tips:
Be on the same page with the following before you think about getting married:
"Religion".... Going in to a marriage thinking you can "change" the other person is shaky ground...as well as "letting your kids decide" on their own...ultimately, your kids grow up and chose their path, but the way your raise them DOES affect the choices (good and bad).
"Kids"... Do you want children? Are you flexible ? Are you mature enough as a couple to realize that you sometimes cannot control this? I always get a kick out of young couple who have an exact count and sex of their future brood...
"Money"...How do you treat your finances? It's super hipster to think that "money doesn't matter" and that you will shop consignment...until your kid needs a cavity filled...how you handle your money as a couple MATTERS.
"Work"... If you have kids...do you want to be a 2 income household? What are your expectations as the spouse? Is it ok if your spouse loses his job and "just chills" for a few months? Do you want someone so hardworking that he/she is never around?
"In-Laws"... What are your family dynamics? It's simple if you lay it out and communicate ...holidays? Much depends on the distance...for years we travelled for every single Christmas...we didn't think of it as a hardship...but a couple of years ago we just decided that we liked being in our own house on Christmas morning... No bad feelings, just better for our family... Having family close makes quick dinners or coffee a no-brainier...when you live a distance it is a financial choice to visit as well as time away from work...
There is so much that makes a happy marriage and for me, just having someone to share my life with has been a huge blessing... I'm grateful...
Love you all...but today...especially my CoffeeTalkDad...
CoffeeTalkMom
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