Well...another year in the books, and it has me thinking about what it means to have success in marriage. Don’t get me wrong, we have our moments, but what really contributes to a lasting relationship? CTSon got married this year so now I have a CTDAUGHTER!! It is the BEST! Watching them pledge their love and devotion to each other was a true highlight in my life. I was so worried I would start crying and not be able to stop, but focusing on the sacred moment in their lives just washed me with calm and gratitude. Contrary to what the world believes, marriage is SO much more than a piece of paper. It IS about love, but it is also so much more.
HONOR is an interesting word. It means to “hold in high esteem”. I have to ask myself if I am holding CTDad in high esteem? Sometimes the words that flow out of my mouth don’t feel very honoring. It is my job to “regard with great respect” and let God do the rest. It is absolutely critical to be LOYAL in that your spouse knows that you are in “his corner” regardless of the circumstances. You can count on that person to be lifting you up to others when you’re not around. Aside from being faithful (LOYAL) to your spouse, think about what your words do. Words are powerful!
COMMUNICATION is so important and we are constantly working on it. Sometimes, it is not what the other person says, but how they say it. Watch your tone of voice, and see what a difference it can make!
TIME is a key factor in a good marriage. Are you spending time without the kids trailing along? Do you have activities you do together? Is it a constant push and pull?? “Well, if YOU are golfing, IM going to the spa!”. If you are finding yourself in a rut, find something you can enjoy together! CTDad likes to work on his truck, I don’t. Every once in awhile, I make an effort to go “help”, just so we have some time together. In the same way, he will go for walks with me, or make an effort to be a part of what I’m doing. It is key. Trust me...when the kids leave (and they do), you need some TIME together.
HUMOR is the key. Do you laugh together?? Do you find joy in watching the same goofy TV show? Do you have a lighter side? Can you laugh at yourself? Most recently, we had ordered a couch from American Furniture. When the call came with the delivery time, the man on the other end was “Jake”. I heard him say, “Jake? Jake Jabs...is that you??”... I laughed out loud and the guy said something like, “I wish!”. Can you have some fun? Does it require a bunch of money? I need to be better at just “chillin out” and not having an agenda of line items. How about you?
LOVE is such a widely used word. Society tells us to love everybody and everything. My Dad used to call me out about “loving a dress” or “loving those shoes”...He used to say, “You can like those, but you LOVE me”. Marriage is work, but it is the most rewarding kind of work. There are no paychecks or awards of merit. You may have days or weeks or months of feeling disconnected. The best advice I once received was to be SELFLESS in my love for my husband. The results are instant. Sometimes I get so focused on what I want or need, that I forget to do the dirty jobs of marriage...paying the bills, making healthy meals, or even...cleaning dirty car parts...just to be together.
Love Well...and Happy #32 to CoffeeTalkDad!
CoffeeTalkMom
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