Recently, I was talking to a friend on the phone and emptying the dishwasher, checking a date on the calendar, and watering the plants on my windowsill. I went to grab something out of my car and realized, “Crap...Did she just say her mom is having surgery?”...I am a rotten friend...or maybe I am just trying to do something I was proudly doing in my 30’s and now Im not sure it is such a good idea.
When the boys were young, I would pride myself on getting “stuff” done and I’m a pretty good multitasker. The problem is...something always suffers. When I decided to stay home with the boys, I realized that I could be a good worker, wife, and mom...but I couldn’t be great at any of them. Something was going to suffer in the process. Now that I’m older, I am realizing the same thing, only in a different way. I need focus. When I’m on a call, I want to actually “hear” the person. I need to give myself some slack and not feel like I need to get 10 things done at the same time. When I work on the phone, I am always sitting at my desk with a notebook and totally focused. I can’t let myself be distracted, or I miss something important. Let’s face it, we lose some of our acuity as we age. Never fear, there are ways to regain your task list and still feel like you are achieving important goals. Here are some things I’m working on:
Find old school pen and paper and use it for making your list...not your phone...cross off your completed tasks (big and small) as you go. It will make you focus on one thing and get it done without being distracted...
Optimize space in your house: CTD and I have an “office” that is completely without electronics. We use it for talks, studying, and reading. It’s great to have a place without distraction. I am super addicted to multitasking when I have my phone...the excuse being, “I’m going to look it up”...Can you imagine what we did before smart phones?
Continue to learn. Pick up a hard copy book and read every week (or ideally every day)...When you hold a book, you are able to soak up information.
Up and Out: literally...get out of the house. When I sit at a restaurant or in a theater, I concentrate on what is in front of me. When I “watch” a show at home, Im usually rotating laundry!
Settle on the length of time on the phone before you make the call: Have a friend who likes to talk?...or you really want to catch up with someone long-distance? Set a realistic time and stick with it. Then relax and talk. When you FaceTime , you can’t multi-task...you need to focus and the person can see that you are all-in! It’s okay to say, “Hey...I need to run”...
I don’t recommend going through what we have the past few months, but, as a result, the word FOCUS has become even more important. With one eye, CTD finds himself unable to multitask on the road. It has been an important lesson for both of us. “Having or giving the proper sharpness” is one of the definitions of the word FOCUS.
I can use that!
CoffeeTalkMom
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