Coffee Talk Mom

Why “City Visits” are rare…

We love a good city! For years we would come up to Denver for a “night away”. We loved getting out of the “burbs” and checking in to our fave hotel, eating out, and sometimes catching a show or walking to the movie theater. We even liked coming down during the holidays and doing some shopping. What has happened to our inner cities? I will mainly speak of Denver since that is our home base, but all over our country, the cities are becoming less desirable place to live and play. The fact is that Denver was recently ranked the “worst place to raise children”. How sad is that?

Sure, we have it pretty good. The suburbs where we raised CTB’s had excellent schools, low to no crime (2 squad cars came once to help us get rid of a giant snake in our garage and the officers looked sincerely happy to have a call!) and nice, solid, good people. This is not a bash on one city or another, but a reflection of a post-covid/defund the police society and what a difference a few years can make.

Last night we attended an amazing party downtown. Let’s start with the hotel. Our pick was @Hyatt because of the proximity to the event and we tend to use Hyatts after all the years of travel from CTDad. There are no longer the amenities once provided in hotels. Gone are the days of Regency Clubs and free breakfast. After covid, they closed them down and have yet to reopen them. The hotel restaurant was closed. It opened this morning for a buffet only breakfast where hundreds of people swarmed the tables of fruit and eggs for the low low price of about $30 pp. Many hotels now add 20% automatically to the check, then still have a line for “tip”…so be careful with that one! We also loved the nice sized bottles of lotion replaced with ziplock bags with a mask and antibacterial gel.

The walk to the theater area was non-eventful, mostly because we were in a group of 6 laughing and talking and not taking in the occasional tent or trash. The lights of the city at night are beautiful!

This morning I took a walk down 16th street mall and WOW…It’s not like I haven’t been down here in years, but what a mess and what a change! Starbucks is closed and many shops are boarded up having never rebounded from the Covid years. The majority of 16th street mall now are cheesy t-shirt shops and chain restaurants. The homeless and drug addicts abound. I saw one police officer the entire walk, and men, women have a sixth sense, and mine was saying, “Maybe you should walk yourself right back to the hotel”. In the past, I would have walked alone for miles.

Denver is not the same place as it once was. I am sure businesses have to take into account insurance, loss from theft, vandalism and security to maintain a place of business downtown. With all of the issues that plague the owners, it is easier for them to leave and take up in the suburbs where they have fewer threats. Also, many of the high rises in major cities are empty because their workers never returned after Covid and were offered more work-from-home opportunities. Fewer workers mean fewer people to fill restaurants and shops.

SO…what now? There is always hope. In talking to a business owner last night he said, “ALL of my employees are required to come into the office EVERY day for the first 6 months, then maybe they can earn a day at home”. I think the tide is changing on the all-or-nothing, “quiet quitting” of the work-from-home generation. Once they become business owners themselves, they will see the benefit of face to face interaction and necessity of the teamwork environment. Denver is shoveling in money to refurbish downtown, widen the walkways, add trees, etc… I am hoping this is a dark moment and not a forever trend. In the meantime, some areas of downtown closer to Coors Field , the Dairy Block, and the train station have been revitalized and hopefully will draw tourists, workers, and families back into the area.

You can put all of the money in the world back into the area, but, if you don’t feel safe, it’s useless. If police cannot arrest anybody for anything, it’s a society gone astray. Crime isn’t nice and punishment isn’t “fair” , but it works. Unfortunately, laws have been changed that hurt law enforcement which, in turn, hurts the general communities of citizens wanting to support downtown businesses. Maybe it’s time to forget about legislating jaywalking and build and support our police officers. Come on, Denver…we are rooting for you!!

The Wall of Thanksgiving

A couple of months back, I was cleaning up CTD’s office and straightening things up…As I was reaching for a ribbon of cards I had hung during chemotherapy, a voice rung out from the laptop, “Don’t take those down!”… I turned to see CTD looking up and suddenly very passionate about the “cleaning”… To him, they weren’t just cards and notes, they were a lifeline during the most difficult season of his life. Those notes were from all over the world …from long lost fraternity brothers, nuns in Italy, friends and family, neighbors we barely know…they represented the very BEST and most precious part of his cancer journey; people cared, and they wanted to be there for him…they were thankful for his life and ways he had touched their lives.

As you celebrate with friends and family today, remember people in your world with gratitude and thanksgiving for how they have impacted you. You never know when a Wall of Thanksgiving may remind you of the most precious things in life…

Today, the wall of cards is still adorning CTD’s office…and I am ok with that. He told me that every time he looks up at them, he is grateful for that person and says a quick prayer for them…remember, you are loved and for you, we are thankful!

CoffeeTalkMom

What’s a Shopper to Do?

Well...we are easing out of the quarantine, so I thought I would write some quick tips and tricks. This is NOT meant to be political in any way...just my own experience. Personally, I have very low blood pressure and bouts of anxiety, so wearing a mask for a long period is not possible. For that reason, I am doing less shopping in Lone Tree, and more in surrounding areas. I don’t want to have to explain to strangers why I am not wearing a mask. I will just keep my distance and do my thing as quickly as possible.

That being said, I have had a return to Nordstrom Rack in my trunk for 2+ months, so, when a friend told me they had re-opened, I went over thinking it would be a quick in and out. I was met immediately by the manager who said the wait to check-out OR return was an hour and a half. I was in awe. There is nothing that important for me to wait 90+ minutes for. It could have to do with the fact that everything in the store is 40% off with no returns. I went back the next morning before opening, waited in a line about 50 people long, went directly to the checkout, and still waited about 15 minutes. Ahh, it’s a wonderful life.

Walmart suggests masks, but it is“out of Lone Tree”. I went to make a t-shirt return there. They said, “I am really sorry, but we are not taking returns on clothes until late July”. I kept the t-shirt.

Old Navy is open, but the amount of time it took each salesclerk to walk around, open an individual wipe, and completely clean everything was nuts. I wouldn’t bother. There is also no trying on clothing in any of these stores (that works for me!).

A couple of weeks ago, CTD asked me to pick up some sprinkler heads at Home Depot. I wandered around, found a clerk, asked for help, and he said, “We will get these back in stock when China opens...good luck!”. I went home empty handed, CTD ordered them through Amazon, and they were delivered to our door 3 days later. There is just something about Amazon!

TJ Maxx opened quietly a couple of weekends ago. The shelves inside were empty and they were mostly just trying to get rid of Easter stuff. Wha wha!

Park Meadows Mall is open on a limited basis. I want all of the stores to “make it”, but I think I will (mostly) stick with Amazon for now. I have come home from “errands” cranky and out of sorts more than once. I seriously think that I got frustrated by in the past pale in comparison to the lack of oxygen!

Here is what I have learned:

I don’t need anything THAT badly.

I have a closet full of clothes.

We are blessed with work.

God is in control (not me!) Eventually we will be able to wander the mall without being wrapped in tin-foil.

I can walk with friends in the open air. I don’t want anyone to get sick, but I can’t live with constant fear about life.

So here are the tips and tricks:

You be YOU...if it helps to feel like you are getting out, by all means, wander the mall and support the retailers

Make a list: It is best to be prepared, walk in and get what you need, and exit asap.

Don’t wait in long lines. The “stuff” will still be there.

Talk to neighbors and friends: if you are worried or in a high-risk category , there are dozens of people willing to help (including me!!)...stay home

DON”T STAY HOME: get outside, breathe the fresh air and you will be amazed at how much better you will feel. I do this EVERY day and am grateful we live by paths and hikes.

Change it up. We drove to a new hiking place last weekend and it was GREAT!

Call ahead! If there is something you are looking for, or you are questioning store hours, use that cell-phone that is tied to your hand. Many stores are opening at 11, rather than 10.

GO when they open!

Take a moment and find something to be grateful for today!

CoffeeTalkMom

This blog has NOTHING to do with CORONA

Okay...for those of us sick about talking about the plague...let’s have some fun with some thoughts from the last few weeks!

Have you ever eaten a salad and about half way through thought, “I don’t think this is very good for me!”...THAT is how I feel when I eat my friend Joey’s yummy salad dressing...basically on anything...but best served with thin sliced red onion, pears, goat cheese, and (duh!) candied pecans:

Maple Dijon Vinaigrette
1/3 C Olive oil
1/4 C rice Vinegar
1 T Maple Syrup (the real kind...not Mrs Butterworths!)
2 t Dijon
1/2 t sea salt
Freshly cracked pepper

Shake it up and pour!

Next, let’s talk a bit about CoffeeTalkDad who has given me a great quote from the walk-in closet, “I am running out of sweats-options in here!”...Baha...let’s face it, “WHO are we going to see?” I think he does business on the top and party on the bottom for some of his meetings...just be careful of those ZOOM calls and cameras!! On a similar note, take a shower and get dressed people!!!! It makes you feel like you have plans for the day!! AND...Bonus for the “marrieds” it may remind your spouse that you have a waist! (Or do we anymore?)

Let’s talk TV and Books: We are loving the “Taken” series on Netflix. Good for a little suspense, but be careful with little ones in the room. We have “The Voice” recorded, but I am getting a little bored. I am reading a kind of cheesy novel from the online library called, “As Bright as Heaven” about the Spanish Flu...but it is good because you can see the parallels without having to be an MD. If you need a no-brainer TV show before bed: 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, Jane the Virgin are all good options. Has anyone seen, “Tiger King”? Okay...just kidding...what a dumpster fire!! Don’t do it...it’s like a bad accident that you can’t stop watching. Trust me when I say, “The Artists Way” is an awesome book that I always go back to. It is even fun to see what I highlighted in the past.

This is embarrassing since I have always liked to cook...I started a sour-dough starter with CoffeeTalkBuzz and have been making bread like a crazy-woman. I’m just not very good at it. I keep thinking about the bread from Great Harvest, then I look at my loaf that literally took about 9 hours to make and I think, “WHY?? WHY??”...just like Nancy Kerrigan (if you don’t know what I am talking about you are too young!).

Last, I am the mom of a 30-year old!! How did that happen and how old was I when I had him?? I miss CoffeeTalkTee like crazy, but the FaceTime has been fun...Isn’t that what old people say? Try it: just put a “the” in front of the hi-tech word you are trying to say. If you want to follow someone new on Instagram to make you laugh, try #classicdadmoves. It gives me a laugh almost every day and you will see what I mean about “getting older”!

Well...this has been fun...and I love the #tellmesomethinggood comments through this whole crazy time we are in. Even in our darkest days, there is always SOMETHING good...

Stay Healthy!!

CoffeeTalkMom

P.S. Big T and I on a California beach circa 1994

Maybe it’s a good thing...

I’m trying to be positive, but some weeks are just hard. This week is one of those. The stock market, doom and gloom over the virus, and a bevy of personal dumpster fires to deal with. Overall...we are blessed. I am a notorious worrier, but I am finding time to mess with long overdue projects around the house, bake and read thru some recipes (I have been more lazy in my empty nest), and what do you know...the laundry is done and I actually ironed a few things! When I am tempted to jump into the car to get away I am thinking though what I actually NEED to do, shop for, spend money on...The best thing has been that I am not tempted to go to the gym. Even in a healthy climate, I always think about how many people use those mats before they get thoroughly cleaned...I have loved being outside and in the fresh air for hikes and walks and runs...I am using my basement “gym”...what? You didn’t know I had that? Neither did I. In all seriousness, what I really miss is interaction with people.

This morning I opened my computer and was greeted with my daily emails. This particular one struck me from #themorningbrew:

"Every hand that we don't shake must become a phone call that we place."
"Every embrace that we avoid must become a verbal expression of warmth and concern."
"Every inch and every foot that we physically place between ourselves and another, must become a thought as to how we might be of help to that other, should the need arise."

Reach out to an old friend today...write a card...breathe some fresh, non-office air...

Be Well,

CoffeeTalkMom

A Love Letter to My Boy on Your Wedding

Buzz...As a child, you were a ball of energy and drool...you were a challenge after having our neat and tidy Thomas...The bible says “Train your child up in the way he should go and he will not depart from it”...The “he should go” part was a little hard for us. We tried everything!: ice skating (remember that, Cole?), roller hockey, soccer, flag and tackle football, basketball, track, cup stacking, archery, judo, and debate...but when you swam you always had a smile on your face.
You used to jump into a swimming pool as if you were an Olympic swimmer...but ya...you couldn’t swim yet...you would just look up from the bottom of the pool and reach for my hand...I was always there to raise you to the surface for that breath of air that would re-energize your next jump.

Buzz...you no longer need me to reach down and bring you to the surface...now you can swim...and beautiful Kaylee will be there to pick you up when you need an extra hand. Kaylee, we are so grateful to God for you...We always dreamed that Will would find someone special to walk through life with. the first time I met you, I was trying to mix coleslaw for a crowd...so I did what I thought would be best...I threw it into a garbage bag and asked you and Mare to mix it outside by shaking it...I’m sure you thought, “Dear Lord...what kind of family is this?”... We are glad you’re still “swimming with us “..,
So Buzz...think of it this way , Jesus is your lifeguard and Kaylee your best friend...Dad and I and the rest of the family are sitting on the edge of the pool with our feet in the water sipping margaritas...we are there if you need us and ready to jump in! You will always be our baby boy...but we are grateful you have grown into the man you are today: loyal, strong, capable...we are grateful for each of your groomsmen and friends...we love you both!

I’ll always be your Mom...

CoffeeTalkMom

YAY! It’s a NEW YEAR!!

“Behold, I am making all things new”

Don’t you love a fresh start? I have always been the type of person who likes to turn the page on a new month. The paper is white and crisp. YES, I still use a paper calendar ...and read paper books...Writing by hand also helps me to focus on what I am saying without distraction. It feels good to start new! Many of you know what kind of year 2019 was for us, so this feels good! With that in mind, here are some tips for 2020.

Make goals...but keep them do-able. There’s nothing worse than having January 17th come and realize, “Hey...I haven’t stuck with a single goal!”. 17 days is what “experts” have said is the typical “fall off the wagon day”. Do yourself a favor: BE REALISTIC

Give yourself something to look forward to...maybe you cant afford a big, fabulous trip. It isn’t about the extravagance . When winter is still in full swing, I need something in February to look forward to. January tends to be a regrouping and almighty “paying of the bills” month. February needs a night out, a concert, night downtown...something! TREAT YOURSELF

You know those things you constantly put off? Make a list of them and start knocking them out. This helps me feel accomplished and less like I have a bunch of stuff “hanging over my head”. Make the mammogram appointment (picking up the phone is the worst part), organize tax stuff, write your thank you notes, clear the desk off: TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS

I’m sure in all of the years of writing I have said this 10 times: BE QUIET. It’s okay not to fill every minute of every day with “stuff”. It doesn’t count to fill your time with Netflix either. Sometimes you just need to quiet your mind...even for 5 minutes a day!


I don’t care how hot or cold it is: GET OUTSIDE I have had the worst cough for the past 8 days and also struggle with anxiety. I must be outside in fresh air...every day. Stop making excuses. Walk out your door...even for 10 minutes. It clears my mind, wakes me up, and refreshes my day. The other night I was feeling so yucky and coughing. I literally opened my front door, stepped outside and took a few breaths of fresh air and felt better... My neighbors probably thought I was nuts...but what’s new?

Sometimes we can get so caught up in the details of life: BE GRATEFUL. It works ...think less about what is going wrong and more about what is going right! Maybe you are having a crappy day, but the sun is shining, or you got a 38 cent refund from medical insurance (like I did today!)...haha...there is always something good.

Yay...it is a new year...and a new start...and HE is making “all things new”

Happy 2020
CoffeeTalkMom

It’s better to receive than give: Thoughts on having a sane Christmas

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! My mind has been swimming with thoughts about gift-giving, the true meaning of Christmas, balancing the check-book (is that even a thing anymore?), decorating, baking, and running from event to event. Let me start by saying that none of this is bad...but when you hear a little voice in your head saying, “I just need to get to December 26th”, you’re doing too much. Here are some thoughts (in no particular order).

This year has been a dumpster fire of drama at our house and one of the big lessons was this: It is OKAY to receive. The end. I like to GIVE, and receiving is tough... Friends and family want to help...let them. You will be called upon at another time. It’s okay to not be okay.

I have a “gifts are my love language” husband. This will never change. CTDad was raised by an amazing woman who filled the house with decor, hundreds of cookies, and gifts packed under the tree..it is who he is and that is how he experiences love. It’s not a money thing, but, for me, can be a stressor. I have learned to roll with it. I do my best. One of the favorite Christmas’ for me was when we had very little money and gave each other 3 things: a piece of clothing, a book, and a CD. You do YOU and don’t worry about what everyone else is doing.

I am a pretty calm person, but the decorating after Thanksgiving about did me in. Have you ever tried to replace lights on a pre-lit Christmas tree? We put the tree up, took it down, tried to cut off the lights (on the $$$$ tree) and after an hour we realized that some things in life just are not worth the effort. Each light is wrapped 3x around the branch. Jesus take the wheel!! (Or the tree). Goodwill was thrilled to have it, and off we went to find a tree. He literally had to stand guard at the “floor model” tree in Hobby Lobby while I chased the sales guy down for a price. By this time it was 4:00 on Day 1 of decor-gate. The outside light guy called to cancel, and, with that, we went into Day 2. All I can say is that when my CT-Nan and CT-Pop downsized their Christmas decor I was disappointed. I am becoming my Mom and Dad.

I had a baking day. When CTD grabbed a cookie, I almost lost it. I mean, “These are for Christmas...and important people!!”...I caught myself. Take a breath and relax. You are not baking for the President. No one cares that much.

I’m not sure if this blog is making you sane or stressed, so with this I will close. Enjoy the moments. Maybe it is the local high school play, or laughing with your girlfriends at a gift exchange, reading your bible when no one else is awake, making it to the gym and seeing the “GRUMPA” license plate in the parking lot (always makes me laugh), thanking God that you are included and loved and whatever happens, it will be okay!

Peace,

CoffeeTalkMom

“For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

Isaiah 9:6

Dogs Gone Wild

Okay...You couldn’t find a bigger dog lover than me. Our dog Lexie was the most amazing dog and huge part of our family. I swear it took me over a year to get over her being gone. We struggled whether or not to get a new puppy and have put it off because of where we are in life. We have been traveling and, since CTD still works in Boulder, it has been nice to have the flexibility. That being said, I am OVER the “bring your dog” trend in stores.

I cant even say that I know the policies of particular stores, but what the heck? Not every dog is a service dog and, in my opinion, dogs should stay home where they can be in their own space. Save the “dog trips” for the trails!

The other day I was at Target and there was a medium sized dog crammed into a cart...yes, a cart. Target sells groceries. The dog was sitting. Think about it. I have seen numerous pocket pets in the top part of the cart where I put my fruits and veggies. Granted, the stores provide wipes, but I am pretty sure they would need to provide bleach and a firehose if we really wanted to clean the carts.

I am probably guilty of saying, “aw...such a cute pup” to the person proudly cavorting their way through the store as if the dog would die if they left to do their shopping. This is not a “dog” issue, but a health issue. Ironically I have already had the stomach flu this season...and it was brutal. Use your wipes people!!

On another note, I clicked on the rabbit-hole we call Instagram this morning . One of my girls had posted a “story” from a bar where a girl had brought her ferret from home and it was up on the bar ... what? Does this place have sani-wipes?

Stay Healthy and get those dogs off leash on a great trail today!!
From your “You’re such a Mom” ,

CoffeeTalkMom

Pride and Privilege

While in the midst of “Snowmagedon” yesterday here in Colorado, I took some time to catch up on the house, the news, life in general...I read some articles about the “College Scandal” involving rich parents trying to get their kids into “elite” schools. At first, it kind of made me sick, then it made me laugh. Granted, there were potential students who were NOT accepted because these spoiled kids took their places...I still had to stop for a minute to think how the world has changed.

My parents are from hard working-class small town Nebraska. Everything they have, they made on their own and no one ever handed them anything. This translated into my life in ways that, at the time, I hated. Now, I am grateful. Back in the late 70’s we moved to Colorado Springs and landed in a very affluent part of town. The purpose was to get us kids into a great school district. It worked. Over 90% of my high school went to college. College was “the plan”. After several lunches and interviews, I received the Rotary Scholarship. This was the biggest thing I had ever accomplished. It was $500. I’ll never forget one of the candidates (I wont say who) walked up to me and said, “I never thought it would be YOU”... I remember feeling deflated and unworthy. After all, this particular guy was popular and smart and “worthy”. My parents were pretty happy. They had 4 kids, 2 of which would be in school at the same time. That money went straight to tuition. I remember thinking that it would take some stress off of them. I would still need to work for spending money and gas, but somehow I was “helping”. It was up to me to pick a couple of schools to apply ...not 10...applications are expensive. At the time, I think it cost upwards of $25 per application. Again, that was “waste”. I ended up at CU Boulder with a partial athletic scholarship (training) and off I went. I was (and am) extremely grateful. I remember getting my first credit card. I put (God help me) a pair of boots on it. They were $35 and I thought, “Good God, help me pay these off”.

Money was a privilege, not a right.

Money was earned, not given.

A degree was hard fought, not “paid for”.

I think the reason I “laughed” a little when I read this was because, these kids are so CLUELESS. Mommy and Daddy can make everything better with a credit card. They can BUY your degree and your “value” in life. Guess what? YOU are in charge of your value. Mom and Dad cannot fix you with money. Wake Up, Parents! Teach your kids to work, to save, to value their own achievements because they EARNED them.

When you make your kids pay for something out their “own” money, it teaches them VALUE. Stop paying for everything. My “summer money” aka...minimum wage...went for gas and clothing. At the time, I’m sure I was too immature to understand what I was learning and the purpose of the plan. NOW...I get it. It’s okay to take pride in something well earned.

Thanks CoffeeTalkNan and CoffeeTalkPops!

Cash is King,

CoffeeTalkMom