Coffee Talk Mom

The Beauty of Comparison

Ahh...the comparison trap...we are always reminded not to fall into it. Typically, this is a good idea. There is no point in trying to be the prettiest, skinniest,smartest.most organized, most accomplished person in the world...there will always be someone with more. It can lead us up and endless trail. We think we see the ridge at the top, but it is just a hill ...the peak remains distant and unachievable. It never ends...and it is exhausting...

I was thinking about this the other day when I was in a kind of “down” mood. I had had a particularly rough week. I was focused inward when, in fact, what I needed to do was focus on others. I started to think about the people in my life...not a distant “friend of a friend” but actual family members and friends who have struggled this year. What I found was this: there is a beauty in comparison. When I put my life up against any of their situations, I would chose my own. The qualities that exalt the mind or spirit...that is beauty. Each of these people are beautiful, and that is exactly what I need to achieve in my trials...

2020...what can we say? If my biggest issue is having to stay home (brutal for a social person), I try to remember that a young boy took his life last week in Boulder, a friend needs a liver transplant to live, a sister adopted her niece after her sister was killed by domestic violence, a friend lost both parents in 2020, another with stage 4 cancer and more chemo on the horizon. I strongly believe in perspective. Take time today to put your week into perspective. Reach out to a friend, bring a treat to someone hurting, pray for healing every morning ... What do others see when they look at you. Is their mind “exalted”by your attitude? Find beauty in the comparison and live today to the fullest!

THANKFUL for each of you!

CoffeeTalkMom

Falling Forward

Who even knows what season it is at this point...2020 is just running out of time, and for THAT I am grateful...!! They trees are just starting to change by our home in Colorado which is great given that last year we had an early freeze and never got to experience FALL in all it’s glory. I was speaking to CTN (CoffeeTalkNiece) and she said if I elect her president, she will do away with the time change and move Christmas to February, so we all have something to look forward to! She has my vote! There is something about the darker days that can really get me in a funk. I know I am not alone, as CTN is one of the most positive, encouraging people I know. THAT is why it may be a good time to take stock in life, and “fall forward” into some things that are enriching and positive.

It’s hard to be positive with everything happening in the world right now...especially politics. With the world trying to moralize politics and politicize morals, spend your time investing in others. It’s not the words that come from our mouths (and TRUST...there is plenty of that!!) but the way you invest in others that makes a difference and causes hearts to change.

Last weekend we had the privilege of hosting our contractors for dinner. many of you know that I have been flipping houses for the past couple of years along with CTP (CoffeeTalkPartner),and we decided we needed to honor and appreciate them. It was great to see them out of work clothes and enjoying time together with their wives, sitting to enjoy a meal together,and hear about their kids and lives. We realize how blessed we are by all of them. We could have handed them a token gift card (also appreciated), but we wanted to actually get to know them and see what life is like on a daily basis. I sat by our flooring guy. He has 5 kids, immigrated from Mexico, started his own company, and is so full of pride in his family and work. WHAT a role model! Do something for others that sends a message of JOY. We could all use more of that!

On another note , I started Corona with a bang. Call me Martha Stewart. I started my own sourdough, made toilet paper from trees(kidding), and whipped up my own healthy hand sanitizer (not kidding). I have devolved to getting by with “what is in the fridge”. I really can’t stand the mask...so I even send CTD to the grocery sometimes. This sounds like “no big deal” until bags of random crap come walking through the door...haha!! I found the BEST bread recipe! One of my favorites is www.halfbakedharvest.com . This young lady has the BEST recipes and responds to almost every instagram post. She lives outside of Breckenridge and I encourage you to check out her website. You can always adjust ingredients and use what is in your pantry, but everything I make from her is great! I altered her Dutch oven bread recipe to include a handful of cheddar and fresh chopped jalapeños and it is yummy with any soup! Best part, it is “no knead”, so it is an easy starter bread and amazing as toast once it goes past the first couple of days in the fridge.

Here are a couple of other quick recs:

Don’t bother with Netflix “The Home Edit”. The ladies are great, but I really don’t need to spend my time colorizing my pencils and causing The Container Store to have lines going around the block. They make it all “look easy”, but the $$$ they spend on “product” is crazy, and the spoiled “celebrity” kids were enough for me to turn it off...I just can’t...

Happy Hour at “Smokin Fins” in Highlands Ranch was great (for those of you in South Denver). We tried the lobster deviled eggs which were YUM...and the house wine was great too. the exterior looks like a strip mall, but the interior is clean and has a “local vibe” which I loved.

Book in my cue: “Dear Edward”...recommended to me and looking forward to a rainy day to get started on that!

BEST investment: an American Flag outside on our porch. Last week,and elderly gentleman came by on the golf course, stopped his cart, got out and saluted the flag. It was amazing. I thanked him for his service and he thanked me for having a flag out. Be sure to bring it in when it rains and at night. The great unifier. I didn’t know his politics or religion...just that we are both proud Americans.

Here’s to Falling Forward in the best way possible!

CoffeeTalkMom

Therapy and Thistles

It’s been awhile. I’m not really sure why, but it just feels like everything has been said. Do you feel like life Is on a giant repeating wheel right now? Get up, get dressed (so I feel “normal”), pick the house, check email, do errands, work on flip house, feel “tired”, have happy hour with CTD, instagram check, Netflix, bed, REPEAT. Like it or not, we are all feeling a bit “stuck”.

On a recent morning, a group of us decided to help a neighbor next door to our flip house. He is a veteran with no family and has cancer. His house is in disarray (to say the least). Originally, I almost called the police to do a “well check”. We saw no one for weeks. My contractor Carlos and I were finally able to make contact with him and hear his story. If you think Corona virus is bad...wow...there are some people really struggling right now. As we took out dead trees and bushes, my friend Todd leaned over what looks like a rhubarb plant. He realized it was a giant thistle, and just like that he was covered in those spiky, sharp (and annoying) little monsters. It took him removing them one by one and destroying them to actually be able to continue working. It really got me thinking about all of those “little” things we have in life that will just keep after us if we don't deal with them one by one. As a Christian, we are called to give our worries to God, then leave them. It’s hard to leave things that hurt us...because we would rather stay worried or anxious about them. We would rather ruminate on the “what ifs”.

It is no secret (if you read my blog) that I have struggled with anxiety over the years and one of the things that I started doing was going to therapy. I only go every several weeks or months, but it helps get those pesky thistles off my clothes and out of my mind. With everything goin on in the world right now from politics to riots, the plague, and fires...it’s nothing to be ashamed of to seek help. This summer our family was struck (literally) with the news that a family member had been murdered by her husband. If you or anyone you know is having issues with a spouse or has been in a scary situation, please share this number:

The National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

Our friend has a company that provides in-house counseling and therapy. This is an excellent resource as well:

Www.freedomchoicehealth.com
720-213-5955

Now is a great time to work on your “thistles“. Go through the things that are heavy on your mind and in your heart. Be willing to reach out and grab them and crush them under your boot. Years ago our pastor (miss you Pastor Jim!) said that seeking God is like going to the grocery store. When we draw near to God, the doors open and we are free to walk into a better life with Him. It’s not easy, it will still have troubles, but we have our faith that all things work together for good...

It’s a new school year for all of the minis out there! I love school supplies and new pens, notebooks, and paper...It feels like a “fresh start”. Take this week and make a fresh start! Think of all the happy things in your life, the blessings and the beauty...there is so much good in the world. Just seeing the smile on the neighbor’s face as he held a treat I left him on his porch was worth the thistles!

Have a great week!

CoffeeTalkMom

Oh...and you may have noticed that I said “flip house”...stay tuned for some fun flip house stories!

What’s a Shopper to Do?

Well...we are easing out of the quarantine, so I thought I would write some quick tips and tricks. This is NOT meant to be political in any way...just my own experience. Personally, I have very low blood pressure and bouts of anxiety, so wearing a mask for a long period is not possible. For that reason, I am doing less shopping in Lone Tree, and more in surrounding areas. I don’t want to have to explain to strangers why I am not wearing a mask. I will just keep my distance and do my thing as quickly as possible.

That being said, I have had a return to Nordstrom Rack in my trunk for 2+ months, so, when a friend told me they had re-opened, I went over thinking it would be a quick in and out. I was met immediately by the manager who said the wait to check-out OR return was an hour and a half. I was in awe. There is nothing that important for me to wait 90+ minutes for. It could have to do with the fact that everything in the store is 40% off with no returns. I went back the next morning before opening, waited in a line about 50 people long, went directly to the checkout, and still waited about 15 minutes. Ahh, it’s a wonderful life.

Walmart suggests masks, but it is“out of Lone Tree”. I went to make a t-shirt return there. They said, “I am really sorry, but we are not taking returns on clothes until late July”. I kept the t-shirt.

Old Navy is open, but the amount of time it took each salesclerk to walk around, open an individual wipe, and completely clean everything was nuts. I wouldn’t bother. There is also no trying on clothing in any of these stores (that works for me!).

A couple of weeks ago, CTD asked me to pick up some sprinkler heads at Home Depot. I wandered around, found a clerk, asked for help, and he said, “We will get these back in stock when China opens...good luck!”. I went home empty handed, CTD ordered them through Amazon, and they were delivered to our door 3 days later. There is just something about Amazon!

TJ Maxx opened quietly a couple of weekends ago. The shelves inside were empty and they were mostly just trying to get rid of Easter stuff. Wha wha!

Park Meadows Mall is open on a limited basis. I want all of the stores to “make it”, but I think I will (mostly) stick with Amazon for now. I have come home from “errands” cranky and out of sorts more than once. I seriously think that I got frustrated by in the past pale in comparison to the lack of oxygen!

Here is what I have learned:

I don’t need anything THAT badly.

I have a closet full of clothes.

We are blessed with work.

God is in control (not me!) Eventually we will be able to wander the mall without being wrapped in tin-foil.

I can walk with friends in the open air. I don’t want anyone to get sick, but I can’t live with constant fear about life.

So here are the tips and tricks:

You be YOU...if it helps to feel like you are getting out, by all means, wander the mall and support the retailers

Make a list: It is best to be prepared, walk in and get what you need, and exit asap.

Don’t wait in long lines. The “stuff” will still be there.

Talk to neighbors and friends: if you are worried or in a high-risk category , there are dozens of people willing to help (including me!!)...stay home

DON”T STAY HOME: get outside, breathe the fresh air and you will be amazed at how much better you will feel. I do this EVERY day and am grateful we live by paths and hikes.

Change it up. We drove to a new hiking place last weekend and it was GREAT!

Call ahead! If there is something you are looking for, or you are questioning store hours, use that cell-phone that is tied to your hand. Many stores are opening at 11, rather than 10.

GO when they open!

Take a moment and find something to be grateful for today!

CoffeeTalkMom

This blog has NOTHING to do with CORONA

Okay...for those of us sick about talking about the plague...let’s have some fun with some thoughts from the last few weeks!

Have you ever eaten a salad and about half way through thought, “I don’t think this is very good for me!”...THAT is how I feel when I eat my friend Joey’s yummy salad dressing...basically on anything...but best served with thin sliced red onion, pears, goat cheese, and (duh!) candied pecans:

Maple Dijon Vinaigrette
1/3 C Olive oil
1/4 C rice Vinegar
1 T Maple Syrup (the real kind...not Mrs Butterworths!)
2 t Dijon
1/2 t sea salt
Freshly cracked pepper

Shake it up and pour!

Next, let’s talk a bit about CoffeeTalkDad who has given me a great quote from the walk-in closet, “I am running out of sweats-options in here!”...Baha...let’s face it, “WHO are we going to see?” I think he does business on the top and party on the bottom for some of his meetings...just be careful of those ZOOM calls and cameras!! On a similar note, take a shower and get dressed people!!!! It makes you feel like you have plans for the day!! AND...Bonus for the “marrieds” it may remind your spouse that you have a waist! (Or do we anymore?)

Let’s talk TV and Books: We are loving the “Taken” series on Netflix. Good for a little suspense, but be careful with little ones in the room. We have “The Voice” recorded, but I am getting a little bored. I am reading a kind of cheesy novel from the online library called, “As Bright as Heaven” about the Spanish Flu...but it is good because you can see the parallels without having to be an MD. If you need a no-brainer TV show before bed: 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, Jane the Virgin are all good options. Has anyone seen, “Tiger King”? Okay...just kidding...what a dumpster fire!! Don’t do it...it’s like a bad accident that you can’t stop watching. Trust me when I say, “The Artists Way” is an awesome book that I always go back to. It is even fun to see what I highlighted in the past.

This is embarrassing since I have always liked to cook...I started a sour-dough starter with CoffeeTalkBuzz and have been making bread like a crazy-woman. I’m just not very good at it. I keep thinking about the bread from Great Harvest, then I look at my loaf that literally took about 9 hours to make and I think, “WHY?? WHY??”...just like Nancy Kerrigan (if you don’t know what I am talking about you are too young!).

Last, I am the mom of a 30-year old!! How did that happen and how old was I when I had him?? I miss CoffeeTalkTee like crazy, but the FaceTime has been fun...Isn’t that what old people say? Try it: just put a “the” in front of the hi-tech word you are trying to say. If you want to follow someone new on Instagram to make you laugh, try #classicdadmoves. It gives me a laugh almost every day and you will see what I mean about “getting older”!

Well...this has been fun...and I love the #tellmesomethinggood comments through this whole crazy time we are in. Even in our darkest days, there is always SOMETHING good...

Stay Healthy!!

CoffeeTalkMom

P.S. Big T and I on a California beach circa 1994

Maybe it’s a good thing...

I’m trying to be positive, but some weeks are just hard. This week is one of those. The stock market, doom and gloom over the virus, and a bevy of personal dumpster fires to deal with. Overall...we are blessed. I am a notorious worrier, but I am finding time to mess with long overdue projects around the house, bake and read thru some recipes (I have been more lazy in my empty nest), and what do you know...the laundry is done and I actually ironed a few things! When I am tempted to jump into the car to get away I am thinking though what I actually NEED to do, shop for, spend money on...The best thing has been that I am not tempted to go to the gym. Even in a healthy climate, I always think about how many people use those mats before they get thoroughly cleaned...I have loved being outside and in the fresh air for hikes and walks and runs...I am using my basement “gym”...what? You didn’t know I had that? Neither did I. In all seriousness, what I really miss is interaction with people.

This morning I opened my computer and was greeted with my daily emails. This particular one struck me from #themorningbrew:

"Every hand that we don't shake must become a phone call that we place."
"Every embrace that we avoid must become a verbal expression of warmth and concern."
"Every inch and every foot that we physically place between ourselves and another, must become a thought as to how we might be of help to that other, should the need arise."

Reach out to an old friend today...write a card...breathe some fresh, non-office air...

Be Well,

CoffeeTalkMom

A Love Letter to My Boy on Your Wedding

Buzz...As a child, you were a ball of energy and drool...you were a challenge after having our neat and tidy Thomas...The bible says “Train your child up in the way he should go and he will not depart from it”...The “he should go” part was a little hard for us. We tried everything!: ice skating (remember that, Cole?), roller hockey, soccer, flag and tackle football, basketball, track, cup stacking, archery, judo, and debate...but when you swam you always had a smile on your face.
You used to jump into a swimming pool as if you were an Olympic swimmer...but ya...you couldn’t swim yet...you would just look up from the bottom of the pool and reach for my hand...I was always there to raise you to the surface for that breath of air that would re-energize your next jump.

Buzz...you no longer need me to reach down and bring you to the surface...now you can swim...and beautiful Kaylee will be there to pick you up when you need an extra hand. Kaylee, we are so grateful to God for you...We always dreamed that Will would find someone special to walk through life with. the first time I met you, I was trying to mix coleslaw for a crowd...so I did what I thought would be best...I threw it into a garbage bag and asked you and Mare to mix it outside by shaking it...I’m sure you thought, “Dear Lord...what kind of family is this?”... We are glad you’re still “swimming with us “..,
So Buzz...think of it this way , Jesus is your lifeguard and Kaylee your best friend...Dad and I and the rest of the family are sitting on the edge of the pool with our feet in the water sipping margaritas...we are there if you need us and ready to jump in! You will always be our baby boy...but we are grateful you have grown into the man you are today: loyal, strong, capable...we are grateful for each of your groomsmen and friends...we love you both!

I’ll always be your Mom...

CoffeeTalkMom

...Something Blue

January and February are tough months in Colorado. The days are still short, and the color has not returned to the landscape, so I take this time to “think blue” in my house. The countless ornaments and tchotchkes are packed away and it feels good to dust and start with a fresh slate. There is typically a method to my madness for decorating for the seasons, so here are some easy and inexpensive tips.

The Coco Chanel fashion rule stands for your house: take a look around and then take “One thing off”. This isn’t the season to fill your shelves and every flat surface with “stuff”...so think about STREAMLINING your space.

Focus on something you love: We just framed a very special print from our artist friend in Boulder and we LOVE the colors and style. I based the colors for the den around this special piece. There is something calming about it. Select the FOCUS of your room. (Www.willdayart.com)

Think about changes that don't cost an arm and a leg: RECHARGE YOUR PILLOWS AND THROWS. I have found the best way to do this (with pillows) is NOT to buy a bunch more, but rather to change out the covers. Target used to sell them ...wha wha...no more...so IKEA is the spot I typically find new covers. I love the use of velvet all winter long. The throw I had to shop around for (mostly because I wanted a comfy one and a specific color). I found it at Marshalls for $14.99.

I just couldn’t get myself to ditch my new flocked tree (no ornaments) into the depths of the basement, so I used it in the den to bring a winter -feel into the room. There are no rules about this. I just LOVE white twinkle lights. If I could, I would have them up all year! If you don’t see yourself doing that, BRING IN A FRESH HOUSE PLANT. It is good for the air in the room and adds something “alive”!

It’s just a puzzle kind of season. When football is on, or we want to spend time doing something other than T.V., it’s fun to mess with a puzzle or play a game. KEEP AN ALTERNATIVE TO THE TV CLOSE.

Hope this keeps you in the “winter spirit”! Speaking of “something blue”, I get a new daughter in a couple of weeks!

HAPPY DAYS!

CoffeeTalkMom

YAY! It’s a NEW YEAR!!

“Behold, I am making all things new”

Don’t you love a fresh start? I have always been the type of person who likes to turn the page on a new month. The paper is white and crisp. YES, I still use a paper calendar ...and read paper books...Writing by hand also helps me to focus on what I am saying without distraction. It feels good to start new! Many of you know what kind of year 2019 was for us, so this feels good! With that in mind, here are some tips for 2020.

Make goals...but keep them do-able. There’s nothing worse than having January 17th come and realize, “Hey...I haven’t stuck with a single goal!”. 17 days is what “experts” have said is the typical “fall off the wagon day”. Do yourself a favor: BE REALISTIC

Give yourself something to look forward to...maybe you cant afford a big, fabulous trip. It isn’t about the extravagance . When winter is still in full swing, I need something in February to look forward to. January tends to be a regrouping and almighty “paying of the bills” month. February needs a night out, a concert, night downtown...something! TREAT YOURSELF

You know those things you constantly put off? Make a list of them and start knocking them out. This helps me feel accomplished and less like I have a bunch of stuff “hanging over my head”. Make the mammogram appointment (picking up the phone is the worst part), organize tax stuff, write your thank you notes, clear the desk off: TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS

I’m sure in all of the years of writing I have said this 10 times: BE QUIET. It’s okay not to fill every minute of every day with “stuff”. It doesn’t count to fill your time with Netflix either. Sometimes you just need to quiet your mind...even for 5 minutes a day!


I don’t care how hot or cold it is: GET OUTSIDE I have had the worst cough for the past 8 days and also struggle with anxiety. I must be outside in fresh air...every day. Stop making excuses. Walk out your door...even for 10 minutes. It clears my mind, wakes me up, and refreshes my day. The other night I was feeling so yucky and coughing. I literally opened my front door, stepped outside and took a few breaths of fresh air and felt better... My neighbors probably thought I was nuts...but what’s new?

Sometimes we can get so caught up in the details of life: BE GRATEFUL. It works ...think less about what is going wrong and more about what is going right! Maybe you are having a crappy day, but the sun is shining, or you got a 38 cent refund from medical insurance (like I did today!)...haha...there is always something good.

Yay...it is a new year...and a new start...and HE is making “all things new”

Happy 2020
CoffeeTalkMom

It’s better to receive than give: Thoughts on having a sane Christmas

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! My mind has been swimming with thoughts about gift-giving, the true meaning of Christmas, balancing the check-book (is that even a thing anymore?), decorating, baking, and running from event to event. Let me start by saying that none of this is bad...but when you hear a little voice in your head saying, “I just need to get to December 26th”, you’re doing too much. Here are some thoughts (in no particular order).

This year has been a dumpster fire of drama at our house and one of the big lessons was this: It is OKAY to receive. The end. I like to GIVE, and receiving is tough... Friends and family want to help...let them. You will be called upon at another time. It’s okay to not be okay.

I have a “gifts are my love language” husband. This will never change. CTDad was raised by an amazing woman who filled the house with decor, hundreds of cookies, and gifts packed under the tree..it is who he is and that is how he experiences love. It’s not a money thing, but, for me, can be a stressor. I have learned to roll with it. I do my best. One of the favorite Christmas’ for me was when we had very little money and gave each other 3 things: a piece of clothing, a book, and a CD. You do YOU and don’t worry about what everyone else is doing.

I am a pretty calm person, but the decorating after Thanksgiving about did me in. Have you ever tried to replace lights on a pre-lit Christmas tree? We put the tree up, took it down, tried to cut off the lights (on the $$$$ tree) and after an hour we realized that some things in life just are not worth the effort. Each light is wrapped 3x around the branch. Jesus take the wheel!! (Or the tree). Goodwill was thrilled to have it, and off we went to find a tree. He literally had to stand guard at the “floor model” tree in Hobby Lobby while I chased the sales guy down for a price. By this time it was 4:00 on Day 1 of decor-gate. The outside light guy called to cancel, and, with that, we went into Day 2. All I can say is that when my CT-Nan and CT-Pop downsized their Christmas decor I was disappointed. I am becoming my Mom and Dad.

I had a baking day. When CTD grabbed a cookie, I almost lost it. I mean, “These are for Christmas...and important people!!”...I caught myself. Take a breath and relax. You are not baking for the President. No one cares that much.

I’m not sure if this blog is making you sane or stressed, so with this I will close. Enjoy the moments. Maybe it is the local high school play, or laughing with your girlfriends at a gift exchange, reading your bible when no one else is awake, making it to the gym and seeing the “GRUMPA” license plate in the parking lot (always makes me laugh), thanking God that you are included and loved and whatever happens, it will be okay!

Peace,

CoffeeTalkMom

“For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

Isaiah 9:6